Star Trek Color and Activity Book 1979 - Futuristic Fun!

When compared the color and activity books I had posted from 1978 a few days ago, this one has less of a story line, a simpler cover, and more "interesting" inter-activities. The front of the book has a picture of Kirk and Spock from the motion Picture, and gives us something to look forward to: "Futuristic Fun." Because coloring and connecting dots is very futuristic.

First we have the mandatory shots of the crew - pretty straight forward stuff. Feel free to print these out and color them with whatever you want. Click on the images to enlarge.

 

Now things start to get a little odd and/or obvious. On this page we have a "Klingon Letter to Number," as identified by Spock.

 

Next we have to connect the dots to figure out who is being beamed up. In case you can't tell who it is by their faces, I won't ruin it for you. Print it off, give it a go, and draw some tribbles falling from the sky.

 

Lastly, I scanned this page for it's pure absurdity. Can you figure out what is wrong with this picture? (Damnit Jim - I'm a doctor, not a sailor-grave digger!) Mr. Sulu looks like Luanne from King of the Hill, Uhura looks like she should be out with her droogs, Spock is in his most illogical state yet, and Captain Kirk thinks he is the king of radio transmissions.

Just a reminder - the deadline for the contest I am holding is September 1. For anyone who is interested, you can read the guidelines and take a gander at some examples over HERE.

Star Trek Color and Activity Books - 1978

Once upon a time, there was a girl (me) who dragged her boyfriend along to the other end of the city in the hopes of picking up a couple of coloring books from a random man on a suburban street past all of the homeless people and drunks with knives. I thought it sounded like fun. My boyfriend, not so much.

We did finally get there, however, and I retrieved the books - even getting an extra two for only ten more dollars. By that time (it took five hours because I have no sense of direction), hardly any of the buses were running, so we had to walk for an hour or so to find one. I love walking. He doesn't. I pointed out the illogic of his discontentment, but I don't think that helped him at all.

Anyways, I present to you: Star Trek Color and Activity books from 1978, and a few select pages for your enjoyment.

Warning: Some of the faces look ultra-derpy. Click to enlarge.

This first book was mostly for coloring purposes, and had a story to go along with it as well (I have not scanned those pages as of yet). Feel free to print these of and color to your heart's content.

Moving on the the second book (this book also had a story, which I will get to at a later date), we find some actual activities:

Wow, these sure are difficult activities aren't they? A diorama? And just what does Spock's message say? I won't ruin the fun, even if it is obvious.

It was SO worth the five hour trip, and I am not being sarcastic. I don't actually color inside the book, but I do make copies and color/complete those. Print these out and join the fun!

Play, laugh, grow.

William Shatner - Star Trek V

It has been a very long time since I have undated this blog - something that makes me very sad and fills me with shame - I have so much to post and so much to say. I haven't had access to a scanner, so I am posting the last scan I have off my computer: an article from Cinefantastique, June 1987 - "Shatner Directs Trek V?"

Now this article is obviously from before the movie was even in production - Walter Koenig leaked the possibility of Shatner's directing in a radio interview while The Voyage Home was still in filming.

Now everybody knows that my favorite two Star Trek movies were directed by Leonard Nimoy. The effects were great, the story was great, the drama was great. In conclusion, it was great.

And then we have Star Trek V: The Final Frontier. It was also "great" but the effects at times were so bad that I couldn't help but laugh - intentional? Perhaps, it doesn't matter. Why, you ask? Because of these scenes:

First we have Sybok in the desert - crazy exiled Vulcan Jesus style!

Then we have Kirk, who (after being distracted by hovering Spock watching him climb mountains) falls to what would be his death, had Spock not been wearing rocket boots and saved him in just the nick of time. This is the first scene that really made me laugh, because of the effects - starting when Spock turns upside down, and ending when Kirk is caught only inches from the ground. And then there is McCoy - standing and watching in utter horror with his "I told you so - damn it, Jim -You're a captain, not a circus act!" face (you know the one).

Uhura and Scotty start flirting on the bridge, and Uhura pulls out a bag of chips - the way to a fat man's heart, and she knows it.

Back at the campsite, Spock eats some of McCoy's "special" beans. Could there be anything cooler? I am I the only one fascinated by watching Spock eat beans? But it gets better...

Spock makes a marshmallow to roast, and we get this delightful quote:

SPOCK: I am preparing to toast a 'marsh melon'.
McCOY: Well, I'll be damned. A marsh melon. Where did you learn to do that?
SPOCK: Before leaving the ship I consulted the computer library to familiarise myself with the customs associated with 'camping out.'
McCOY: Tell me, Spock. What do we do after we toast the marsh, ...er, melons?
SPOCK: We consume them.
McCOY: I know we consume them. I mean after that.
SPOCK: I believe we are required to engage in a ritual known as the sing-a-long.

Back to the enterprise early, and Kirk's shirt. He has a cool shirt. That is all.

I could never figure out whether it was Uhura or that cat-lady dancing here until I actually watched it frame by frame. It's Uhura.

Spock is finally reunited with his half-brother, and not under the best of circumstances. Silly illogical Sybok. Later on in the movie, Spock has the chance to kill Sybok, but cannot, and we get this quote:

KIRK: You stay out of this! ...Why, Spock? Why? All you had to do was pull the trigger.
SPOCK: If I had pulled the trigger, Sybok would be dead.
KIRK: I ordered you to defend your ship.
SPOCK: You ordered me to kill my brother.
KIRK: The man may be a fellow Vulcan, but that doesn't...
SPOCK: You do not understand me, Captain. Sybok, also, is a son of Sarek.
KIRK: He's your brother brother? You made that up.
SPOCK: I did not.
KIRK: You did too. Sybok couldn't possibly be your brother because I happen to know for a fact that you don't have a brother.
SPOCK: Technically, you are correct. I do not have a brother.
KIRK: You see?
SPOCK: I have a half-brother.
KIRK: I've got to sit down.
McCOY: Let me get this straight. You and Sybok have the same father but different mothers.
SPOCK: Exactly. That is correct. Sybok's mother was a Vulcan princess. After her death, Sybok and I were raised as brothers.

Kirk gets on Spock's shoulders. Spock is not impressed - he has put on quite a bit of weight. Luckily, Vulcans are stronger than humans. Can you imagine McCoy holding him up? He gets frailer looking every movie.

Spock gets his rocket/levitation boots, and Kirk climbs right onto his right side. McCoy, however (and as usual) needs a bit more coaxing... just look at his face in the second cap. They initially start sinking to the ground:

SPOCK: It would appear we are too heavy.
KIRK: It's all those marsh melons.

Syboks attempts to control their minds the way he did the others: by showing them, and then ridding them of their pain. McCoy relives "killing" his father...

And Spock watched his father hold him for the first time.

SAREK: So human. (AKA Son, I am disappoint.)

Luckily, it doesn't quite work out the way Sybok planned.

Sybok finds what he was after, and they all beam down to:

SYBOK: Sha Ka Ree.
KORRD: Qui'Tu.
CAITHLIN: Vorta Vor.
TALBOT: Eden.

and move on to try and find "God". Sybok looks pregnant for a while because of the wind.

Umm... God? Hello? You might want to stop being so creepy, it looks like we're in the Lion King...

They find "God", and shoot it with phasers. (Please excuse the page-long quote)

GOD: And how did you breach the Barrier?
SYBOK: With a starship!
GOD: This starship. ...Could it carry my wisdom beyond the Barrier?
SYBOK: It could. Yes!
GOD: Then I shall make use of this starship.
SYBOK: It will be your chariot!
KIRK: Excuse me.
GOD: It will carry my power to every corner of creation.
KIRK: Excuse me. ...I'd just like to ask a question. ...What does God need with a starship?
GOD: Bring the ship closer.
KIRK: I said ...'What does God need with a starship?'
McCOY: Jim, what are you doing?
KIRK: I'm asking a question.
GOD: Who is this creature?
KIRK: Who am I? Don't you know? Aren't you God?
SYBOK: He ...has his doubts.
GOD: You doubt me?
KIRK: I seek proof.
McCOY: Jim, you don't ask the Almighty for his I.D.
GOD: Then here is the proof you seek.
(blue light rays shoot from God's eyes knocking Kirk backwards)
KIRK: Why is God angry?
SYBOK: Why? Why have you done this to my friend?
GOD: He doubts me.
SPOCK: You have not answered his question. What does God need with a starship?
(blue light rays shoot from God's eyes again knocking Spock backwards)
GOD: Do you doubt me?
McCOY: I doubt any God who inflicts pain for his own pleasure.
SYBOK: Stop! The God of Sha Ka Ree would not do this!
GOD: Sha Ka Ree? A vision you created. An eternity I've been imprisoned in this place! The ship! I must have the ship! Now ...give me what I want!
SPOCK: Sybok, ...this is not the God of Sha Ka Ree, ...or any other God!
SYBOK: I don't understand... Reveal yourself to me!
(an image of Sybok strides out of one of God's eyes)
SYBOK/GOD: What's wrong? Don't you like this face? I have so many but this one suits you best.
SYBOK: No! No, ...it's not possible.
GOD: Bring me the ship or I will destroy you!
SYBOK: The ship.
GOD: Bring it closer so that I might join with it. Do it or watch these puny beings ...die horribly.
SYBOK: What have I done?
KIRK: Kirk to Enterprise. Listen carefully.
SPOCK: Sybok.
SYBOK: This is my doing! This is my arrogance, ... my vanity...
SPOCK: Sybok, we must find a way...
SYBOK: No! Save yourselves! ...Forgive me, brother. Forgive me.
...I couldn't help but notice your pain.
GOD: My pain?
SYBOK: It runs deep. Share it with me.
(Sybok boldly enters the shaft and embraces his evil twin)

Only two people can beam up at a time because the transporter is low on power. Spock and McCot are beamed up, leaving Kirk to fight for his life. Suddenly a Klingon Ship comes (the one that has been chasing and trying to kill Kirk), and he is beamed onto that one to find...

Spock, the "new gunner" of a Klingon ship, swivels around in his bad-ass chair. Kirk goes up to hugs him:

KIRK: I ...thought I was going to die.
SPOCK: Not possible. You were never alone... Please, Captain. Not in front of the Klingons.

All is well - Kirk, McCoy, and Spock are back around the campfire, and instead of pondering the meaning of "Row Row Row Your Boat" and life being "but a dream" he plays it on his Vulcan Lyre while they all sing it in a round.

Shed a happy tear, roll credits, praise William Shatner.

What's Wrong With Star Trek?

Scanned from Cinefantastique June 1987 is a two-page article on "what's wrong with Star Trek". Do I agree with the views expressed in this article? Somewhat - Let us begin:

"Like all cultists, the Trekers prefer their rituals predictable and reverently performed. Paramount must genuflect to the generic expectations."
(Trekers? Why does this man keep spelling it Trekers? And why does this bother me so much?)

But this quote basically sums everything up - As an obsessive Star Trek fan, I want to see what I already knew backed up, with a few new, consistent facts thrown in. This is precisely the reason a lot of trekkies like myself found the new movie (2009) so unnerving - it is not what we knew.

Humpbacks to the Future!

The article goes on to give a short critique of each Trek movie (existing at the time) and the thickly laid Greenpeace/ecological message of the Voyage Home.

So far, I agree with everything I have read. Moving onto the second page...

This is where I start to disagree. Thomas Doherty states that while the reunion of the original cast was necessary for the Motion Picture, to continue with the same actors in the same roles is "bordering on ridiculous". While he may be correct in stating that these roles may/have become a straightjacket for the actors, I do not believe that fans would mind the continuing story, using the same actors in the same roles. I would be delighted - they are the characters, nobody else could reproduce them. I want to piece together every second of their lives. Luckily, that is where the novels come in.

"By Trek V,  Scotty may be taking up more space than the transporter room"

It also mentions Saavik - and I do agree full-heartedly that we should have seen more of her. The need for even more new characters? I don't think so, personally. I have always been comfortable with the same, safe characters with the few temporary characters that we got - but maybe that is just me.

He does make a point about the "hot blood" though - were are all those sexy, scantily clad women/aliens we saw in TOS? The short skirts? The plunging necklines? The bare backs? Come to think of it, where are the flying kicks? The double-fisted punches to the back of the neck? I could go on.

The answer: Age and maturity. The movies grow with the actors - could William Shatner still do leaps and kicks? Would we really be comfortable seeing old men oogling at young girls in skimpy clothing? Would that really go over well, and preserve the respect we have for these characters? Maybe. Maybe not. It depends on the audience.

Trek or Treat - 1977 (Part 2)

Continuing on from Part 1, here are some more semi-amusing scans from the book: Trek or Treat, by Terry Flanagan and Eleanor Ehrhardt.

First we have a strained looking Spock, made out to seem like he is finally taking offense to McCoy's taunting... (but actually from "Is There in Truth no Beauty, where he starts going crazy)

I'll thank you to keep my ears out of this!

And then we come to McCoy, Kirk, and Spock, standing on the bridge while Kirk "imitates the Fonz". (I have always loved Happy Days, so this one appealed to me. There was also a page in this book where Spock wasn't doing his work because he was too busy watching the Fonz, but it wouldn't scan right.)

Aaaaa-yyy! 'Cause I'm the Captain!

Next we have Spock, wearing the IDIC (from "Is There in Truth no Beauty?"). I happen to love this picture, and despite Nimoy's opposition towards the use of the IDIC, I love what it stands for. I do not, however, love the fact that they keep making Spock out to seem like a disrespectful fool (once again, I feel illogically protective about his character).

Anyways, this is also the picture they used for the front cover of the book:

Same to you, fella.

From "The Changeling", we have here that internet-famous picture that has been dubbed the "Vulcan nipple pinch" and continues to fuel disturbing fan-fiction everywhere. I am afraid. None the less, here is a less disturbing take on things:

A little more to the left... that's good. Now scratch.

The next picture/caption duo is actually classic Kirk... I can actually see him making this face and saying this exact thing.

I have a friend that I met in an art class, and every art class I would talk non-stop about Star trek to her. I thought that eventually she had learned to tune me out, but later I found that even though she had never seen an episode, she knew the back-story of every character and the plot of most of the episodes from merely listening to me... she knows more about Star Trek now than a lot of the fans I know who have seen every episode.

Anyways, the whole point to this anecdote is that I am always posting creepy/flirty pictures of Kirk on her facebook wall, because... well, because I can. And because she freaked out in disbelief when she found out William Shatner was 80, and had never really seen how good-looking he used to be. And because I (still) think he is massively sexy (and I don't think she does). I'm a good friend.

But I digress. Again. To my friend - if you are reading this, this is for you:

Anyone for skinny-dipping?

Moving on, we have Spock, 1950's high school-girl musical style.

This is the pits! Got into my dress blues and now the party is called off.

Last one! (Of the half that I scanned.) A large portion of the photos in this book are from "The Enterprise Incident", which is quite alright because as I mentioned before, it is one of my favorites. One of the reasons why I love the episode so much is that Kirk disguises himself as a Romulan:

It goes well with your high heels.

So there you have it! Some very strange captions to go with epically amazing pictures. Not bad for a dollar, not bad at all.