How Time Flies - An Evening with William Shatner - The Show

A couple of days ago I had the privilege of seeing William Shatner's show, "How Time Flies", from the ninth row. As soon as he walked out onto the stage, I swear my heart stopped. I could feel it. The show lasted about three hours, and was absolutely amazing.

Before the show, I stopped of at the merchandise table to get a T-shirt. I did not expect for there to be a triple vinyl version of Seeking Major Tom, and a limited edition poster (which I quickly bought!). There were also copies of his book, "Shatner Rules", and his CD - but I had already gotten those days before.

Waiting non-patiently for the show to resume

A lot of what he told us is also explained in his book. I sat there, watching him speak with my SLR camera and a piece of random receipt paper - upon which I was writing notes. I took pictures, when I could, and wrote down my favorite parts.

He spoke about a six year old boy who showed up outside while he was living on the road in a truck. "One morning, a six-year-old boy knocks on the door, and says, 'Are you Captain Kirk?' I said, 'Yes.' He said, 'Can I see your space ship?' I said, 'Sure come in." He brought the boy inside, and showed him the shower, "where I beam up" and the stove, where the controls were. He says that somewhere, there is a middle aged guy who believe beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was on the Enterprise with Captain Kirk.

Looking sharp in a pinstripe suit

After taking off his jacket to show us how to fold it properly

He also spoke a lot about horses, a special passion of his. He spoke about Great Dane, his black stallion, and how he lived and died. He had agreed to breed him, but was saddened by it when he found that he had been "incarcerated". Great Dane later got founder, and had to be put down. He later spoke of Great Dane's son, "Call Me Ringo".

He recalled riding a three year old horse as an amateur rider, and having it rear. He accidentally leaned back and brought the horse back with him, and quickly thought of the stories where people had been crushed by their horses. Luckily, the horse went to the side at the last minute, and only landed on his leg.

Heavenly suspenders

Showing off is what the Shat does best

He broke his leg, and an ambulance was called. "Every Rescue 911 I did, they tied the gurney down!" In the hospital, to check if he had inner bleeding, he had to pee in a bottle. "Captain Kirk is peeing in a bottle." A nurse comes and opens the curtains, looks at him, and says (gasp) "I'm your biggest fan!".

And here's a few more interesting little bits of information:

• The tour bus was rented from a company called Star Fleet.
• William Shatner sold his Kidney Stone for $100,000.00 to donate to Habitat for Humanity
• He states that he got his stereotyped acting style on Broadway when he had to start speaking gibberish and yelling to stop people from leaving the audience when his fellow actor kept freezing up in an attempt to get fired.
• At an important show with agents and everything, he replaced a piece of paper that is fellow actor was to rip in half powerfully and angrily with a piece of parchment paper. Parchment paper doesn't rip.
• He was an assistant manager twice, hired because he  had a degree (which he just barely got). He was promptly fired both times, and has never had a job other than acting since then.
• According to William Shatner, the four sweetest words in the English language are "Say goodbye to Grandpa"
• Koko the Gorilla grabbed him by the balls.

Signing to Koko... "I love you"

And then Koko reached down and grabbed him by the balls.

At one point he quotes a philosopher by saying "nothing is everything"... and follows up by yelling "what the fuck does he mean by that!?" He also uses the word onomatopoeia.

I could go on, but you would be reading for hours, and I would be typing for days. I would highly recommend purchasing the book "Shatner Rules" for more.

As an epic conclusion to the show, William Shatner asked us (rhetorically, I would imagine) what Canadians loved most. After people from the crowd shouted "Beer!" he corrected us - we all love hockey. With this, he sang his rendition of "The Good Ol'Hockey Game" by Stompin' Tom Connors, which I recorded on a terrible camera like I was drunk. See the video and all of it's terrible quality below. And remember - "We don't know anything. We know nothing. We see glimmers."