Wednesday, 1 June 2011

The new Star Trek movie reached in and tore out my liver, because my heart isn't kept there.

The first time I ever watched this movie I kept expecting them to put the timeline back to normal! They did it before, right?

But then the movie ended and everything was wrong and I bellowed dramatically.

You ruined my life.
it seems to me that it was a huge hit with people who just wanted an action movie, and strange teenagers who did not grow up watching the series and enjoy S/K slash, something I have the misfortune of stumbling upon whenever I am looking up innocent Star Trek images.

Not cool.

The apperance of the Romulans only makes sense if you read the Countdown comic beforehand, explaining the the shaving and tattooing of their heads was ritualistic and done in mourning, and how they ended up being in the past in the first place. These are things it would have been nice to know beforehand.

First there are things that just bother me:
  • Captain Pike never meets the fate shown in The Cage and The Menagerie, bothering me to no end. Instead, he convinces Kirk to join Starfleet and battles Romulans.
  • Vulcan is destroyed. Everything we ever knew about Vulcan is gone. Amanda is dead.
 But then there are actual PROBLEMS:
  • The size of the Enterprise. Suddenly, it is immense.
  • Scotty is hanging out with some random alien at in outpost with "Spock Prime"
  • Spock's personality.
  • Spock's romance with Uhura goes against everything we know about how he functions and controls his emotions.
  • Spock freaks out in anger on the bridge.
  • Uhura orders a Cardassian drink, in a time before the Cardassians were introduced.
  • The federation shouldn't know what Romulans look like yet, they didn't find out until later (Balance of Terror)
  • Such a large percentage of Vulcans should not have been on Vulcan at the time it was "blown up", as they constantly have science vessels and federation vessels, and ambassadors of their own out in space!
  • Red matter? Seriously?
  • The plot relies on coincidences.
  • Vulcan's sky is blue, instead of the red it should be.
  • The Orion girl sharing Uhura's quarters. Orion slave girls were not liberated at the time.
Nice, normal red Vulcan sky.
Strange, abnormal blue Vulcan sky.
Random errors (for those who enjoy obsessing over trivial things):
  • Young Spock raises his left eyebrow, where as Nimoy always raised his right.
  • Suddenly the stardate is merely the earth-year. (Kirk's birth:year 2233, stardate 2233.04)
  • Nero is not a Romulan name.
  • Chekov's birth, in the new movie, is 2241 instead of 2245
  • The Klingon ships are called "Warbirds", repeating a mistake made in "Broken Bow".
Now I could go on, but I won't. A lot of these problems have been "solved" with cut scenes and speculations, but that still doesn't explain Spock's bizarre behavior.

The thing that bothered me most was the fact that the timeline had been changed, wiping out what happened in the episodes, changing cultures, etc. To this the producers replied that it did not change the timeline, but created an alternate reality. Ookay.

In the novelized version of the movie, Spock states when turning down the academy that he wishes to be the first Vulcan to enlist in Starfleet. Problem: T'Pol eventually enlisted in Starfleet long before Spock's time, and the time change didn't go back that far. 

Conclusion: It was a great action movie. It was funny at times. It had an okay plot. However, for those who were expecting a legitimate Star Trek movie, there are just too many problems and holes. Also, that I have nothing better to do than point out flaws and annoyances.


  1. "The plot relies on coincidences"
    Extremely interesting statement. I'd not considered it before and am baffled by its accuracy. I too can see how this is basically a somewhat entertaining action movie. To me, It's as if it's just another Hollywood remake gone wrong. They wanted to use TOS as a framework and sure, they did, but they glamorized it so much that they ruined it. The movie is so Hollywood and specifically created to appeal to young people (eg. Spock/Uhura, predictable action sequences, interesting/strange bad guys [Romulans]...) as well as to use as many special effects to try and make it look kool.... Would this movie have sold if it didn't reuse the TOS characters? Why did Leonard Nimoy agree to be in this film? What does he see in it?

    I really hope the next Star Trek movie will make up for the absolute terribleness of XI

  2. I almost wish they had used completely unique characters, and left what had already happened alone.

    The fact that Nimoy did agree to be in it gives me some hope, however.

  3. Im one of those strange teenagers who have actually watched the series before the movie.
    I watched the new movie on my birthday. I hadn't seen the trailer because i wanted it to be a surprise, but what a surprise! first two minutes in the cinema and i was already disappointed. those writers cheated!! instead of making a good creative movie they decided to destroy all what was TOS and make up something different just because they were too lazy to think!
    The real star trek fans wanted to see TOS not some weird invention.
    I hope that in the next movie they will time warp to the time where Neros ship was about to apear and destroy it, destroying this movie with it

  4. 'Amanda is dead' Are you referring to Amanda the 'human' Q?

    1. No, I was referring to Amanda Grayson - Spock's mother.